“Man I swear you got the funk and need to wash your junk! When was the last time you had a soapy bath, Jack?”


Officer Willis sat in his squad car thinking about the old man, young woman and wolf.  He had to admit that the gal was very interesting.  Between her strange dialect, captivating eyes, white hair with a streak of black; and her intoxicating personality, he was unsure what to think of her. Especially when she had complete control of a very large Gray Wolf. The old man was really different too?  One eye, long gray hair tied into a long braid, and his animal mountain man clothing.  Sergeant Willis shook his detective thoughts out of his mind and started his engine.  He decided he would return to the beach tomorrow.

“Okay, I can stand it no more!” Celeste gave Jack a sour look then hammered out her discuss.  “I have driven with you for many hours and now sitting with you at this table I can’t stand it anymore!  I think it’s time you take a bath!” She held her nose and scrunched her lips up.  “Man I swear you got the funk and need to wash your junk!  When was the last time you had a soapy bath, Jack?”

Jack thought about it and looked at Wolf who was passed out on the floor with a full belly.  “A bath?  I think I am okay the way I am Nujalik.” Jack said in a nonchalant tone.  “Oh hell no dude, I will draw you a bath and then I expect you to get your self clean.  I am going into town to buy you some normal clothing Jack.  I can’t have you walking around like a mountain man. I think I have a good eye with your size, but I need to measure your feet so I can buy you new boots.”

Jack thought about what she said, he suddenly became stubborn.  In the end Celeste drew the bath water and put a bar of sage soap, and a razor next to the deep Jacuzzi tub.  She warned Jack she would put him in the tub herself when she returned, if he didn’t do it himself.  He promised her he would listen and do as she asked.

She left the rental in good spirits and headed for her truck.  Bringing the engine to life, she put it into gear and headed into town.  Popping in her MP3 player she turned the volume up to listen to her music loud.  She was in the moment of listening to one of her crazy tunes.  Hush, “Fired up” was ripping it, making the truck rumble with the bass beat of the music.

She cranked it even higher and started to sing along with the tune.  Acting all getto she sang and moved to the beat behind the wheel.  She was not speeding but just enjoying her loud music when she looked into her rear-view mirror and saw the police car’s emergency lights.

She lowered her tunes and moved her truck over on the right side of the road, the cop followed her. “That’s funny I was speeding?” she thought out loud.  She waited for the officer to approach her before she moved.  When the cop got out of his car, she recognized the man immediately.

She rolled down the window and waited for him.  “License and registration please!”  Sergeant Willis asked with his eyes cast down.  As he quickly looked up he saw who was behind the wheel.  “Hi again.” Celeste smiled.  “Hi.” he softly said.  “I don’t think I was speeding, so why did you pull me over?” She inquired.  “Ah, your music is too loud Miss.  We have old people here who don’t listen to rap crap.” he smiled at Celeste with amusement.

“Since I am new in town and only will be here one more day, I will remember to keep my music down.  Sorry for the disturbance.”  Sergeant Willis smiled and watched her eyes look deeply into his.  He was becoming tongue tied when he asked her again for the license and registration.  “I am sorry what did you say?” Celeste wanted to smile, but she was so nervous to hand him her license.  She did not look like the old Celeste, so if she showed him her ID she was doomed. Instead she reached in the glove box and got her registration out and handed it to the officer.

He laid quiet for a few moments, remembering her information.  “New Mexico is a long way, what brings you here in these parts Celeste?”  Sweat beads began to form at her brow, unsure what to do about her license she faked being a blonde.  “Well I am taking my uncle back to Alaska.  He will be staying at my aunt’s house, since I will be moving out of the United States.  I can’t take care of him forever you know…beside Alzheimer is rough stuff, and his mountain man ways are driving me crazy.” She babbled to occupy his mind.  She was happy he returned her registration, but then he asked for her license and birthday.

She picked up her wallet and opened it up, her ID was not there.  “Snap, where did I put it? That dang Henry took my ID again…I am sorry, I am sure its back at the house with Henry.  I am kind of in a hurry to go buy the old man some clothing, I really shouldn’t leave him alone for too long. I should have looked inside my wallet, again I am sorry.  This makes the second time we have met and it looks like I actually might get that ticket now!”

Sergeant Willis smiled, and let her off the hook again. “If you follow me I can take you to a clothing shop for men.  Then I want you to promise me to go quietly home and find your ID.  You should always make sure you drive with your license.” Luck knock on Celeste’s door she quickly agreed and followed the officer.

She followed behind the cop car when he pulled into the parking lot.  Celeste beeped her horn and waved good bye to the officer of law.  Breathing a sign of relief for getting out of this pickle, she opened the clothing store door and did some shopping.

Sergeant Willis ran a check on her name and truck.  He was happy there was no warrants out for her arrest, but he did find it odd that she did not look like she was suppose to be 52 years old.  As he thought about her, he remember that most women now and days will get plastic surgery done before admitting her age.  He smiled and headed back to the office, not thinking about the woman any longer.  She was too old for him anyways!


2 thoughts on ““Man I swear you got the funk and need to wash your junk! When was the last time you had a soapy bath, Jack?”

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