“Listen hombre, get your fifthly food trap away from my table before I cut your balls off.” Jack came out of his thoughts long enough to know the man pissed off Celeste.


Celeste was just simply dumbfounded.  She could not believe her luck to see a rainbow and then the monstrous beast come out of the ocean.  She stood up and screamed out at Wolf. “F*&^* A dude, that was banging! Yahoo… wait till I tell Jack!”  Wolf too got roused as he felt his partner’s enthusiastic energy bounce.   He barked out and danced with joy around her.  The boater watched the two’s excitement, he smiled from ear to ear. He quickly decided to give her some extra time on the boat, and sailed where he knew a bunch of seals slept.

She was not excited to see the seal’s as much as experiencing the Humpback whale.  She had seen many seals in her time when she lived off the coast of California and surfed with the animals. When their excursion was complete, she thanked the boater kindly and gave him a hefty tip for the exceptional exposure. He offered her another ride anytime she would like before she said her goodbye’s to him.

As the pair walked down the street to head back to the hotel, all Celeste could think of is trying her luck in hunting in this splendid territory. Her body rippled with goose bumps, leaving her on a major high feeling.  When they arrived back at the hotel, Jack was waiting for them.

Celeste couldn’t shut up about what her and wolf seen.  Jack smiled and knew he missed out when she told him in details her experience.  “Come Jack let’s go get a drink and sit around and talk some smack. There is something I must talk to you about before we leave in the morning.” Celeste knew it was time to tell Jack that he would return home not only to meet his son, but his first love.

They arrived in a local bar where she took note that most of the men were furry critters.  The men all had facial hair and looked like wild hunters.  She hated facial hair on a man.  To her it made them look messy and nasty.  As the pair walked in the establishment, all heads turned towards Celeste.  She felt like she walked into a meat market.

A big burly waitress approached the two welcoming them, an asked what they would like to drink.  Jack ordered a beer when Celeste order two shots of whiskey.  He smiled at the spitfire who’s zest was hard to contain.  “Jack that was so bloody bitchin to see.’  I will never forget the rush I felt when that huge booger came out of the water.” Jack snickered.

The waitress arrived while serving their drinks and quickly said.  “The gentleman at the bar paid for your drinks, so it is on the house.” Celeste looked at the drunken man with disgust.  She observed the left over food in his beard.  He raised his glass at the pair, she nodded thank you.

Celeste raised her shot of whiskey to Jack and stated with gusto. “Welcome home Wounded Soldier! May you always be bless in life.” Jack raised his glass and they both took a drink together.  Celeste couldn’t wait any longer, she plunged into her secret about what he was going to expect when he returned home. She began with teasing him in a sultry way.

“The reason why I bought you some sexy colored underwear is because, I want you to look smashing when you are reunited with your first love.”  Jack was drinking his beer when she blurted out her statement.  He spit the beer out sending rays of liquid into her face.   Celeste cracked up with laughter, then picked up a napkin and wiped her face off.  “What did you say woman?” he barked out confused.  “You heard me you devil…your gonna get laid when you return home.” She busted up with merriment.

Jack was speechless.  She watched his demeanor change to nervousness. “She lives?” He asked her in a shy voice.  “Indeed she does hot pants!  She had never married after you left, because she loved you so much my salsa spanking dude.  I guess your dancing stick is unforgettable.” She busted out with laughter that became contagious throughout the bar.  As she picked up the rest of her first shot of whiskey, she became mischievous with her words.

“Would you like me to educated you now in the art of shagging?”  Jack couldn’t say a word.  For the first time in his life he had the jitters.  His memory immediately thought of his lovely Eskimo woman.  How would she look in her old years, or would she become repulsed by his ugly face.

The drunk who bought their drinks approached their table while he swayed on his feet.  Celeste looked at the man while Jack was still pondering on his lady friend. “You two are strangers here, where you heading?” He slurred out.  To Celeste he was foul, he wreaked of stink, and could not take her eyes off his nasty infested beard. She kept her composure and said, “We are heading into the Bering Straight. We will leave tomorrow for some hunting.” The man swayed more when he was interrupted by the waitress.  “John, please go home, you are drunk and need to sleep off your spirits.  Besides I am sure our customers would like to chat alone.”

“Don’t tell me what to do woman!  I am not drunk and want to talk with this foxy lady.” Celeste reached slowly into her furry boot for her Bowie knife.  She quickly popped off at the drunk. “Dude if I were you, I would listen to the waitress.  I thank you for the drink, but I would like some privacy with my friend.”  The man became bold and slurred out.  “Shit he’s an Eskimo, how about trying an American bred man!”

Celeste became defensive and quickly ripped out in a loud voice.  “Listen hombre, get your fifthly food trap away from my table before I cut your jingle bells off.”  Jack came out of his thoughts long enough to know the man pissed off Celeste.  He swayed on his feet and stepped backwards unable to control his balance any longer.  She was ready to get out of her chair with her knife in hand to cut his tongue out, when his friends came over and apologized for his manners.

“Nujalik no, please calm down and pay no attention to the piece of shit!” Too late Celeste was on fire with the ugly statement the drunk said about Jack.  The man was saved by her wrath when the owner of the bar came over to deescalate the situation.  “Take him out boy’s this will be the last time John can come into my bar!” The man bellowed out.

Celeste and Jack watched several men take control of the situation and picked the drunk up and kicked him out of the bar.  She relaxed her hand on her knife when the owner again apologized.  “I am sorry for his nastiness, we are all not like him so forgive him please.” Celeste nodded in agreement, but didn’t say a word.

In a matter of moments they were served a handsome portion of steamed fresh crab.  She looked at the owner and got up out of her seat, walked over to the bar and shook his hand and thanked him.  “Enjoy young lady, I am just sorry it happened to you.  He has been a ticking bomb ready to explode from the lost of his wife.” Celeste began to felt sorry for the drunk but had no patience with rude people. She returned to her seat as she began to talk to Jack seriously about tomorrow when they return to his home land.

picture by: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=Ytrdmwezgr07TM&tbnid=ZvSJCfq328jPgM:&ved=0CAQQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwallpapers5.com%2Fwallpaper%2FArctic-Fox-on-Sea-Ice–North-Slope-Near-Arctic-Ocean–Alaska%2F&ei=oz6KUveoMef-2QWakICABQ&bvm=bv.56643336,d.b2I&psig=AFQjCNGQaKNCpmiqMbGgayAf7w_dN_e2tw&ust=1384878074038575


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