“I swear Ghost when I git home, I am going to pluck the shit out of that bird!”


Many days had past by in the spring time when Celeste woke to the sound of good old Pecker Pete the rooster. They acquired the foul when it showed up one day in the morning hanging around their free roaming hens.  Celeste disliked the chicken the minute she lay eyes on him. Pecker Pete was one of the meanest chickens she had ever come across.  She wanted to take him to Ernie’s and pluck the crap out of him, but her mother told her to leave him alone.  Many times when Celeste would try to go outside to catch her bus for school, the rooster attacked her.  So in order not to get the crud pecked out of her, she carried her slingshot to ward the nasty one away.

Several times she had missed her school bus while fighting for her life with the rooster.  She would run as fast as she could to escape his sharp spurs down her driveway, and in the end would have to ride her horse to school.  Celeste stretched her long figure in bed to awaken her body for the day.  “Cock-a-doodle do,”  the rooster announced in the early morning light. “Celeste you awake darling?” Her mother called out to her.  “Yes, I is mama.” Celeste replied. “Well you over slept baby and must hurry before you miss your bus.” Celeste jumped out of her bed quickly and dressed herself for the day. She ran down the stairs without her shoes on.  With speed she tried to find her shoes, but couldn’t remember where she left them. “Ma, have you seen me shoes?”

“I have told you many times daughter to stop laying you’re shoes around the house.  Keep them in your bedroom!” Celeste thought she was doing that, but strangely and some how they never were in the spot she left them.  “Damn fairies, I’m gonna catch you one day, you wait and see!” Celeste mumbled out while looking under the couch.  “You’re gonna miss the bus girl, get moving.”

“Here is you’re lunch hurry go now Celeste, you’ll miss the bus!” Celeste decided not to wear shoes once again to school, she grabbed her lunch and ran out the door without her slingshot.  Like clock work Pecker Pete was waiting for Celeste the minute she stepped out of the door. The tomboy ran with all her might down the gravel driveway without shoes on, while Pete was close behind.

The bus arrived at the end of her driveway beeped his horn once and when he did not see Celeste, he took off to the next pick up. Celeste screamed out to the bus driver to wait but knew it was futile. She looked back to see how close the rooster was and suddenly lost her footing falling to her peril. With speed the little girl got up collected her lunch and knew she was doomed the minuted she picked the sack of food up.  Pete gave her the evil eye, Celeste shivered with fear when she turned around feeling Pete’s ugly energy.

The only thing she could think of was killing Pete.  She shook her bag of lunch at him and yelled out. “Come on ya pecker head, give me you’re best shot!” Pete didn’t wait, he skyrocketed forward to attack Celeste. She stood firm and when the bird was close enough, she kicked out and caught the rooster in the head with her bare foot; sending the foul flipping backwards in mid air with velocity.

Swiftly, Pecker Pete forged forward to begin another assault.  Celeste threw her lunch at him and whistled loud for Ghost.  Pete tore up the bag with gusto and left her alone, giving Celeste enough time to run for safety.  She finally made it to the end of her driveway when Ghost came to her rescue.

“Let’s go Ghost, I need a ride to school.  If I miss another day I am going to be in a heap of trouble.” Ghost nodded his head in agreement to his friend.  Celeste immediately jumped on his bare back and took off through the hollers. “I swear Ghost when I git home, I am going to pluck the shit out of that bird!” Ghost didn’t reply he ran with intense speed to get his friend to school before it started for the day.

When the two arrived at Celeste’s school, she left the gelding in the woods and ran for the school. Smiling to herself she made it to school in record time.  Her smile was short lived when she took notice the principal was waiting for her inside the building by the doors staring at her with disbelief.  Celeste stopped and stared at her principal for several long moments.  She shook her head in defeat and knew this day couldn’t get any juicy-er!

picture by: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=o1GpeqUV895d4M&tbnid=p2UQwP_7rlrnBM:&ved=0CAQQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fforum1.aimoo.com%2FUrbanShines%2Fcategroy%2FFirst-big-bird-then-elmo-now-charlie-brown-but-what-about-Poppa-1-2255012.html&ei=dD3hUsvwMOef2QWy3YDwCQ&bvm=bv.59568121,d.aWM&psig=AFQjCNHB5kXzbLmDj5AvocIyXA9v6dJLLw&ust=1390579394045314


11 thoughts on ““I swear Ghost when I git home, I am going to pluck the shit out of that bird!”

      1. On my blog !!! … Maybe i should start another one un english… Nayyy… Too much work. Leazy to the bone…

        Come close i’ll “tell in your ear” (email !!! ROFL)

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