“Death is not the greatest loss in my life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”


The day came for Celeste to turn sweet sixteen, she stretched her sore long curvy body out on top of her queen size bed.  She had slept in later than usual after a long day of cutting wood for their winter supply with her grandfather.  Several times she took note the aging process was stripping Henry’s body as he had to take many breaks.  She picked up the load with ease telling her grandfather to relax and enjoy the day.  Henry had to bark out at her many times to be careful with the twenty inch chain saw.  “Papa, its time to quit thinking I’m a little girl, tomorrow I’m sixteen and there is no reason why I can’t learn and help you out.”  Celeste lowered her clear eye glasses to protect her orbs from flying debris from the tree she is cutting down.  She smiled at handling the dangerous devise and gave it gas to get use to the power the gas machine offered.  It took her all day and into the late evening when she finished and cleaned up, and when she entered the farm home to shower Celeste opened her grandfather’s bedroom door to check on her papa. He is sleeping soundly so she closed his door softly and went to the bathroom to soak in the tub.

Celeste gets off the bed aching from yesterday’s chores, she takes her time to move her sore body into the quiet kitchen. Like clock work she didn’t hesitate to make the morning coffee.  After putting the java pot on the stove to percolate, she noticed Henry hadn’t woke up himself.  She begins to make breakfast for the both of them and when finished making French toast she called out for her grandfather to rise. Time ticked by as she tidy-up the kitchen when she called out again.  An ill feeling took hold of the birthday girl when Henry didn’t come out.  She immediately went outside to see if maybe he was in the barn since he didn’t hear her calling him in the house.  “Papa,” she yelled out in the late morning hour.  Henry didn’t answer so she went back into the house to check and see if he was still in bed.

She knocked lightly on his door Henry grunts a response, “Let me sleep Celeste, I’m not feeling good right now.”  She opens his door and walks over to his king size bed.  “Papa what’s the matter can I getcha anything,” she offered Henry as she stuck her hand out to feel his forehead.  Henry has never been sick a day in his life until now.  Celeste became worried for his health even though his forehead was cool to the touch.  “Pop can I call the doctor to stop by and check on ya?”  Henry lightly said, “No I just need to rest a little more than usual baby, go feed the animals and I will be out later.”  Celeste obeyed but not before she gives him a peck on the cheek and closed his door with care.  After she finished a lonely breakfast at the large round table she placed the rest of the French toast in the oven on low, and went outside to do her morning chores.

It’s noon time when Celeste felt a horrible feeling in her gut after she completed doing her ranch work.  She thinks its her menstrual cycle coming around again when she double over in pain holding her tummy with her strong hands. “Son of a bitch,” she bellows out by the barn and puts the pitch fork down to go inside the house to calm her body down.  Celeste walks in the cozy large kitchen and noticed her granddad hadn’t even got up to eat breakfast.  She turns off the oven and heads to his bedroom calling softly out his name.  “Papa are ya still resting,” she comments as she places her hand on his door knob and turns the steel to open.  Henry doesn’t reply and is laying on his side covered up with a lovely crush royal blue velvet covering. She carefully speaks out his name and touches his cold bare shoulder to lightly shake.

In a blink of an eye Celeste’s beautiful world came crashing down “Papa,” she whispered out in fear.  With speed she puts her finger under his nose to feel his breath, but takes note Henry has blue lips and his eyes were open wide.  She turns his cold body on his back and yells out his name, “HENRY!”  It takes her a few seconds to realize her papa had passed away in his sleep.  Her body instantly drops beside his bed on the floor.  She is silent numb to all existence of life staring at her dead grandfather.  Hours passed by without movement from Celeste as she knelt on her knees by her grandfather’s bed gazing at his open eyelids.  

Celeste finally moves and lifts her stiff body up to close her papa’s eyelids.  She covers him up completely in his lavish covering and walks out his bedroom stunned and lifeless, she heads to the kitchen for no apparent reason.  She stands by the round table staring at Henry’s favorite spot at the aged table he made with his own two hands.  Her breath didn’t come easy as she instantly felt her walls were closing in all around her.  She grabs her throat feeling the burning desire of hate ready to scream forward upon her lips, she doesn’t give into the ugly feelings but finally lets her tears fall freely.  Her body shakes uncontrollably standing by the table, Celeste grabs the edge of the thick wood and holds on to dear life squeezing the shit out of the table with her bare hands. And when she felt her emotions were about to tumble forth, she turned on her heels, and returned to Henry’s room where she laid her body next to him for the rest of the day and night silently holding the father who was her savior in life.  The first words that escaped the cowgirls lips were, “Death is not the greatest loss in my life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”  She shuts her mouth never to speak again when she closes her heavy lids and falls asleep beside her dead grandfather, refusing to acknowledge the earthy spirits that begged her to listen and answer them inside her head.


picture by: http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=death&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&docid=Mfm6KoP-VlZfeM&tbnid=uNrAuZBIWiyzBM:&ved=0CAQQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsfipress.com%2Fritual-death-news%2F&ei=9sClU-6GA47hsASepIDQDQ&bvm=bv.69411363,d.b2k&psig=AFQjCNF5Hh2LlukTz8oujrReTvU_k4gDLA&ust=1403458138034403


7 thoughts on ““Death is not the greatest loss in my life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

    1. No it is not my quote, but a saying I truly believe in~ The quote came from Norman Cousins… Thank you my Cup of Java for stopping by and reading! Wonder how Celeste will deal with the change? Kiss Kiss 😉

      1. Aw. I only asked because I was thinking of posting it on my twitter (the quote) but wanted to make sure to give the proper credit to whoever said it. 🙂 KISS KISS

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