Perhaps I will buy one of those dicks online to tickle my fancy.



When Celeste arrived at her Doctors office, she was nervous to ask how and why her husband’s stick goes limp.  Not wanting people to know her junk, she tried to figure it out in her head while waiting to be called. “Celeste,” she looks at the nurse calling her name and smiles weakly.  “Hi, there cowgirl it’s been a while since you have seen the doctor.  Are you doing okay?” the nurse questioned Celeste. “Yes and thank you Claire, you know I won’t come in unless I am going to die!” The nurse chuckles and said, “Indeed we know that! So I see you need a few vaccines before leaving for Haiti is that right?”

“Yes, I thought it would be a good idea since I will be leaving soon.” “Well hang in there and the doctor will be with you in a few moments. I know he was happy to see your name on his charts today. Any other problems you need address at this time?” The nurse asked.  “No, I think I’m pretty groovy right now.” Celeste answered back quickly looking at the floor.

“Okay, he will be here soon,” Claire walks out of the examination room. In less than 3 minutes the doctor walks in with a smile.  “Well, look who I have here, it’s been a long time since I saw you my rough and tough woman.  What’s been going on with you, besides leaving the states to help Haiti?”

“Not much doc, but getting nervous about leaving to an area I am unsure about.”  Her doctor comments, “Oh, I imagine it’s Haiti who will be nervous having you in their country.  You might shoot their eyes out if things go sour.”  Celeste gives her doctor an odd glance.  “How’s your husband feel about all this?”

“He’s been fighting me about this and telling me horror stories to try and scare me from leaving.  He says that I have no business out there in a hostile area with no experience.” The doctor raised his eyebrows and states, “Well do you blame him, you do have a knack of getting into trouble with your southern cowgirl ways I imagine.” Something snapped in Celeste’s demeanor, she gave her doctor a pissed off look.  “Oh I think I shouldn’t have said that huh, sorry,” the doctor trended lightly.  “Well you look healthy, besides the dark rings around your eyes, you been sleeping okay these days?” Celeste would never tell her doctor she has been visited by her spiritual guides.

She plays with her folded hands upon her lap in nervousness, “Tell me Celeste, I know you don’t whine about anything, and you are very private about your life, so I am telling you out with it woman, now!” He demands from her.  Celeste looks up into the doctor’s brown eyes.  She swallows her pride and dives in, “My dude, doc can’t get his dick up.” The doctor was shocked how quickly she fired the question at him. “So, tell me doc why does a dude, lose his drive? Am I unattractive, do I stink, or am I boring, or do I need more spice, and be creative when doing the wild thing?”  He gives her a silent glare before answering, “Well you are certainly not any of those reasons, at least from my point of view, but I don’t live with you either.  Are you seeing someone else?” Celeste nods no, “I ain’t like that doc.  I am a one woman man’s toy through thick and thin!”  He smiles at his patient’s honesty and fills her in, “There are a few reasons I can think of.

Common causes of erection problems include:

  • Diseases such as diabetes,  high blood pressure, heart or thyroid conditions, poor blood flow, depression, or nervous system disorders (such as multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s disease)
  • Medicines, including blood pressure medications (especially beta-blockers), heart medications (such as digoxin), some peptic ulcer medications, sleeping pills, and antidepressants
  • Nerve damage from prostate surgery
  • Nicotine, alcohol, or cocaine use
  • Poor communication with your partner
  • Repeated feelings of doubt and failure
  • Spinal cord injury
  • Stress, fear, anxiety, or anger
  • Unrealistic sexual expectations, which make sex a task instead of a pleasure

Erection problems become more common with aging. However, they can affect men at any age, so tell me which one you think could be your husband’s problem.”  “Well I ain’t squealing, but thanks for the information doc.”  She spoke out carefully not wanting him to know that her husband is very athletic, and drinks alcohol like a seal in water, she kept a tight lip.  “Celeste, this could be serious for you as his partner, it’s hurting you and I can see that. Do you want to use Viagra?” “Naaa…I’m good doc, he might have a heart attack using that shit.  I will figure it out, perhaps I will buy one of those dicks online to tickle me fancy.” The doctor roars with laughter and brings a smile to her lips. “Thanks for listening and the information, now let’s get my shots over with so I can go home.”

“You can tell me anything Celeste, I have to keep our conversations private. Don’t feel you are the only person out there either with this problem regarding their spouse!”  “Appreciate it Doc, but I will manage.”  The nurse comes in with different shots to be given.  She administers the medicine into Celeste’s body while the doctor gives his patient the possible side effects.  “Be safe out there cowgirl and if you need someone who can get you out of jail, I will help you out since your my favorite patient!” She stands up and hugs her doctor, “Thanks I will remember.”


4 thoughts on “Perhaps I will buy one of those dicks online to tickle my fancy.

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